WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR ME?

Lately, I have honestly been thinking about what life has for me at this point in my life. Sometimes I just sit down and think about the future, and I won't lie, it scares me a little. I don't actually know what my life is going to look like after school, and that uncertainty can be really overwhelming.

Right now, I am just a student in Nigeria. I don't have any special skill that I can proudly say is mine yet, and sometimes I look at myself and feel like I have nothing really to write home about. I see people learning different skills, making money, building businesses, and figuring out what they want to do with their lives, and I start wondering, “What about me? What am I going to do?”

The truth is, I don't want to suffer.

I want to live a free, healthy, and peaceful life. I want to be able to afford the things I need without constantly worrying about where the money will come from. I want to wake up and feel at peace with my life instead of always being scared about what the next day will bring.

Maybe that is why thinking about the future scares me so much.

I don't know what life has planned for me. I don't know what career I will eventually have, how successful I will become, or even where I will be years from now. Sometimes, I wish I could just see a little part of my future so I would know that everything is going to be okay.

One thing I know for sure is that I don't want to become a woman who completely depends on someone else for everything.

Especially when it comes to marriage.

I don't want to get married to a man who sees me as a completely dependent woman and then uses that dependence to take advantage of me. I don't want to feel like I have no choice in my own life simply because someone else is providing everything for me.

I want to be able to help myself.

I want to have something of my own. I want to have a skill, a source of income, and the confidence that comes from knowing that I can contribute something. I want to be able to stand on my own feet at least to some extent, even if I eventually have a partner who supports me.

It isn't because I don't want to be loved or cared for. In fact, I want to be loved and cared for. But I also want to know that I am capable of taking care of myself when necessary.

I want to be my own helper at most points.

Maybe that is why I keep thinking about learning a skill and finding a side job. I know I am still a student, and I know I have time, but I also don't want to sit around waiting for the future to happen by itself. I want to prepare myself for whatever comes.

Sometimes I feel like I should have already figured everything out, but then I remind myself that I am still learning. Life doesn't come with a manual that tells us exactly what we are supposed to become. We discover ourselves gradually. We make mistakes, learn new things, try again, and sometimes change our plans completely.

So, for now, I may not have everything figured out.

I may not have a skill that I can proudly write home about yet. I may not know exactly what career I want. I may not know where life will take me after school.

And honestly, that uncertainty still scares me.

But I guess I have to keep moving.

I have to learn. I have to try. I have to look for opportunities and take them when they come. I have to trust the process and, most importantly, trust God.

Because at the end of everything, maybe I don't need to know exactly what my future holds.

Maybe I just need to keep preparing myself for it.

I don't know what life has for me, but I hope it brings me peace. I hope it brings me good health, meaningful work, financial stability, genuine love, and a life I can actually enjoy.

And until I figure everything out, I guess I will keep praying, keep learning, keep trying, and keep trusting God.

Because maybe, just maybe, the future I am so scared of today will eventually become the life I once prayed for.