Writers 
I used to think that when I loved someone,
I had to give them everything.
My time,
my attention,
my strength,
even when I had nothing left.
I thought saying no meant I was selfish.
I thought setting boundaries meant I didn't care.
So I kept giving.
I kept forgiving.
I kept making excuses.
Sometimes I helped people
who never asked how I was doing.
Sometimes I was available for everyone
while quietly becoming unavailable to myself.
I told myself that this was love.
But somewhere along the way,
I learned something different.
Love is not a debt.
What I do for you
does not mean you owe me your life.
And what you do for me
does not give me ownership over you.
We can love each other
without keeping a record.
We can help each other
without turning kindness into a contract.
We can give
without demanding that the other person give back
in exactly the same way.
I have also learned that forgiveness
does not mean I must remain where I am constantly hurt.
I can forgive you
and still choose distance.
I can wish you well
and still protect my peace.
I can love you
and still say, “No.”
That was difficult for me to understand.
I thought a good heart
had to be an unguarded heart.
Now I know better.
A good heart can have boundaries.
A kind person can have standards.
And sometimes the wisest way to love someone
is to stop rescuing them from every consequence
of their own choices.
I don't want relationships
where one person gives
and the other simply expects.
I don't want kindness
to become an obligation.
I don't want love
to become a scoreboard.
I want something simpler.
You help me when you can.
I help you when I can.
When one of us is weak,
the other offers a hand.
And when both of us are tired,
we rest without blaming each other.
Because love should give us a place to breathe,
not another place to prove our worth.
Today, I am learning to give
without losing myself.
To receive
without becoming entitled.
To forgive
without forgetting what I have learned.
And to love people
without believing that I own them.
Love is a gift.
Kindness is a choice.
And neither should become a debt.
