Writers 
Traffic, Transport, and 'I’m Almost There: The Daily Nigerian Scam
The Lie We All Tell
"Guy I’m almost there."
You are not almost there.
You are at Berger. It's 7:30 a.m. For the past two hours, you have not moved. And you said 8am meeting.
If you live in Lagos, Abuja, or Port Harcourt, this is your daily reality. Traffic is not traffic. It is a second job. Unpaid. with negative advantages.
1: The Morning Battle - House to Bus Stop
5:30 a.m. ringing alarm You leave by 6:15am for a 9am job. Why? Because of traffic.
First hurdle: Keke or bike to the main road. ₦200. Negotiate to ₦150.
Second hurdle: Bus Driver: No change. You: But I gave you ₦500. He said, "Come tomorrow." By the time you reach the bus stop, you’ve already had 3 arguments and it’s not even 7am.
2: The Main Character - Traffic Itself
Traffic has personality in Nigeria.
Everyone is a civil engineer, and traffic is "One Lane Becoming Four Lanes." "Overtake From Shoulder" is one option. Traffic: You will be humbled by that one Camry. There’s "Accident 3 Cars Ahead But Everyone Must Slow Down and Stare" Traffic: We are a curious people.
Aisha travels 12 kilometers from Surulere to Victoria Island. 45 minutes on a good day. On a Nigerian day: 2 hours 30 minutes. She has listened to 1 podcast, 2 sermons, and called her mother twice. She still hasn’t moved past Costain.
The cost? Fuel. Time. Mental health. A 2024 report estimated Lagos workers lose 3 hours daily to traffic. That’s 15 hours a week. 60 hours a month. You basically work an extra 1.5 weeks per month... sitting.
3: The Transport Hustle
Then there’s the money part.
Bus fare has "fuel adjustment." It was 300 naira last month. This month ₦500. Next month? God is aware. Uber/Bolt: "Due to high demand, fare is 3.2x." High demand = 7am on a Monday. Shocker.
Also, don't let it rain. Transport fare will double and drivers will be forming "I’m not going."
We’ve all done it. Pretending to check your wallet. "Bros, I have only 400." The driver knows. You are aware But we do the dance.
Three Secret Ways This Is Ruining You
1. Time Poverty: You have no time to learn a skill, rest, or see family. You’re always commuting.
2. Financial Drain: ₦2k-₦5k daily on transport. That amounts to $40-100k per month. In some states, that is rent.
3. Rage and exhaustion: You arrive at work exhausted and enraged. Productivity drops before you even log in.
5 Ways to Beat the System (Or At Least Survive It)
1. The Law of "Leave Early or Suffer" There is no in-between. Leave one hour earlier than indicated by Google Maps, or accept your tardiness. Choose your suffering.
2. Batch Your Movement
Don’t go out for one thing. If you’re going to the market, add bank, pharmacy, and that friend’s house. Multiple wins from a single trip.
3. Use Traffic Time Wisely
Audiobooks, Courses, Language apps, Prayer. Don’t just scroll and rage. Reclaim the hours. If you must be stuck, be stuck and growing.
4. Conciliate Flexible/Remote Workdays If your job allows it, beg for 2 days remote. The money + time + sanity you save is insane. Frame it as "productivity optimization."
5. Find Your "Traffic Joy"
Playlist, Comedy podcast, Calling a friend, Snacks. Make the car your space. You can’t control the traffic, but you can control your mood in it.
This isn’t sustainable. Cities need better public transport. Remote work needs to be trusted by businesses. Government needs to fix roads.
But until then, we adapt. Because that’s what we do.
"I'm almost there" is the biggest Nigerian scam. But we all say it because hope is the only thing that moves faster than Lagos traffic.
So tomorrow, leave early. Download that podcast. Carry snacks.
Also, keep in mind that you are not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.
However, you are driven by objectives. And all the difference comes from that.
