A Love Letter to My Younger Self

Dear little me,

I know you don't understand

a lot of things yet.

You think growing up

means finally having all the answers.

It doesn't.

I'm sorry nobody told you that.

You will grow up

and still have days

when you don't know what you're doing.

You will make decisions

and wonder if you made the wrong ones.

You will look around

and feel like everyone else

has figured life out before you.

They haven't.

Trust me.

You will learn that people

don't always stay.

Some friends you think

will be in your life forever

will eventually become strangers.

Some people you love deeply

will hurt you.

And there will be moments

when you'll wonder

why you weren't enough

for someone to stay.

Please don't make their leaving

a measurement of your worth.

I know you'll try.

You'll try so hard

to be liked.

You'll change little things

about yourself

because you think maybe

that's what people want.

You'll keep quiet

when you want to speak.

You'll say "it's fine"

when it isn't.

You'll apologize

for things that weren't even

your fault sometimes.

Please stop doing that.

You don't have to make yourself smaller

just so somebody else

can feel comfortable beside you.

You are allowed to have needs.

You are allowed to say no.

You are allowed to walk away

from people who make you

question your own value.

And please,

don't be ashamed

of how sensitive you are.

One day you'll think

being soft is a weakness.

It isn't.

Your heart will get hurt, yes.

But don't let the hurt

turn you into someone

you don't recognize.

Keep your softness.

Just learn where to place it.

You will fall in love.

Maybe more than once.

And some of those loves

won't last.

You'll cry over people

you once thought

you couldn't live without.

You'll stare at your phone

waiting for a message

that may never come.

You'll replay conversations

in your head

wondering what you could

have done differently.

I wish I could reach back

and hold your hand through that.

I'd tell you:

You didn't have to chase them.

Love was never supposed

to feel like begging.

And one day,

you'll understand that.

You'll also learn

that growing up isn't

becoming completely fearless.

It's doing things

while you're still scared.

Applying for the opportunity.

Starting again after failing.

Walking into unfamiliar places.

Choosing yourself

even when nobody claps for you.

You'll become braver

without even realizing it.

There will be days

when you look in the mirror

and finally like the person

looking back at you.

Not because you've become perfect.

You won't.

You'll still overthink.

You'll still have insecurities.

You'll still have moments

where you don't feel like

you're doing enough.

But you'll be kinder to yourself.

And honestly,

I think that's one of the biggest

things you'll learn.

You don't have to hate yourself

into becoming better.

You can grow

because you love yourself.

So, little me,

please don't rush.

Don't be so desperate

to become older.

Enjoy the silly moments.

Laugh loudly.

Take the pictures.

Make the memories.

Wear the outfit you love.

Say what you mean.

Tell people you love them.

Dance when you're happy.

Cry when you're hurt.

And don't be embarrassed

when your heart gets excited

about little things.

Keep dreaming.

Even when the dreams

change along the way.

Because one day

you'll look back at yourself

and realize something:

You survived every version

of life you once thought

you couldn't handle.

And I'm proud of you.

For every time you kept going.

For every time you started over.

For every tear you wiped

when nobody was there.

For every time you chose

to remain soft

in a world that gave you

reasons not to be.

I wish I could tell you

everything will be easy.

It won't.

But I can promise you this:

You will become someone

you are proud to know.

So take your time, little girl.

You don't have to have it all figured out.

You're growing.

You're learning.

You're becoming.

And someday,

you'll finally understand

that you were always worth

the love you kept looking for

in other people.

With all the love

I should have given you sooner,

Me.