Writers 
I have been learning lately is that I don't have to be everything to everyone.
For the longest time, I thought being a good person meant always being available.
If someone needed me, I should be there.
If someone was disappointed, I should explain.
If someone needed help, I should try.
If someone misunderstood me, I should make sure they understood.
Somehow, I felt responsible for keeping everyone around me happy.
Now, I think differently.
I've realized that being a good person doesn't mean constantly stretching yourself until there's nothing left.
Sometimes, you simply can't be available.
Sometimes, you don't have the energy to explain yourself.
Sometimes, you need to say no.
And honestly, saying no used to make me feel guilty.
I'd say no and then spend the next few hours wondering if I should have said yes.
I'd replay the conversation in my head.
Maybe I sounded too harsh.
Maybe they needed me.
Maybe they would think I didn't care.
But I've slowly started understanding that guilt doesn't always mean you've done something wrong.
Sometimes, it simply means you're doing something you're not used to doing.
I've noticed that we often make ourselves responsible for emotions that don't belong to us.
Someone is disappointed, and we immediately think we've failed.
Someone is unhappy with our decision, and we start questioning whether we should change it.
Someone doesn't understand our boundaries, and suddenly we're the ones feeling guilty for having them.
But people are allowed to have feelings.
And I'm allowed to have boundaries.
Both things can exist at the same time.
I've also realized that constantly trying to please everyone can make you lose sight of yourself.
You become so focused on what everyone else needs that you forget to ask yourself what you need.
You say yes when you want to say no.
You stay when you want to leave.
You keep explaining when you've already said enough.
And eventually, you start wondering why you're tired all the time.
I don't think kindness should require self-abandonment.
You can care about people and still choose yourself sometimes.
You can love people and still need space.
You can understand someone's feelings without taking responsibility for fixing them.
That doesn't make you selfish.
It makes you human.
I'm still learning this.
There are times when I catch myself feeling guilty for doing something as simple as resting or choosing my own priorities.
But I'm getting better at reminding myself that I don't have to earn the right to take care of myself.
I don't have to be useful every minute to have value.
I don't have to make everyone happy to know that I'm a good person.
And I definitely don't have to explain every decision I make just because someone doesn't agree with it.
Maybe that's one of the hardest things about growing up.
You slowly realize that being liked by everyone isn't possible.
No matter how kind you are, someone will misunderstand you.
No matter how carefully you speak, someone may take it the wrong way.
No matter how much you give, someone may still want more.
And that's okay.
I've come to realize that peace sometimes comes from accepting that I can't control how everyone sees me.
I can only control how I treat people.
I can be kind.
I can be honest.
I can show up when I genuinely can.
And when I can't, I can allow myself to say so without feeling like I've committed some terrible offence.
Because at the end of the day, I have to live with myself too.
And maybe that's something we forget.
We spend so much time trying to be good to everyone else that we forget to be good to ourselves.
I'm learning that I can care without carrying everything.
I can give without emptying myself.
I can say no without becoming a bad person.
And that's enough.