Writers 
I recently read a story that was said to be a man's testament about his marriage, and I found myself reading it a little differently.
He stated that marriage was "hell" after he was married. In truth, he stated that if there was anything "hellier than hell," his marriage felt like it.
He claims that his wife's rage was the primary cause of the issue.
He remembered an occurrence from the first week of their marriage. He asked her a straightforward question while they were in the kitchen. She became infuriated, swept the glasses and dishes she was setting up with one hand, and then watched them fall to the ground.
He stated that he was surprised.
He didn't know how to deal with what he had just witnessed because he came from a family where, according to him, they weren't used to anger. He entered the chamber, gathered his belongings, and departed because he was really concerned that he would be thrashed.
And this, he said, was not an isolated incident.
He found himself becoming careful about what he said and how he said it because he never knew how his wife would react. He felt intimidated. He felt that she sometimes acted as though she was the man of the house.
Eventually, he reached the point where he told God he was done.
His reasoning was simple: he had tried. They were both successful. There was no reason, in his mind, why they could not simply go their separate ways and everyone would be fine.
But apparently, that was not the end of the story.
He recalled another incident that happened while they were in London.
He remained outdoors as his wife entered a store. He stopped in another store at one time to get something. She became furious when she came back and discovered he had left.
He attempted to convey that since he wasn't accustomed to the cold, she should have informed him that she was visiting a different store so that they might have gone together.
She gazed at him and said, "What did you say? What did you say?" according to him.
And he asked a question he said he frequently asked since he was frightened of her: "Do you want me to be afraid of you?"
There, she abandoned him.
It took a while for him to even realize she had left.
Because he was stuck and didn't know where to go, he eventually called her friend and questioned about the whereabouts of his wife. According to reports, the companion called his wife and received the response, "Let him find his way home."
He eventually went back, packed his belongings once more, modified his ticket, and departed that night.
According to him, things became much worse by the time his wife came back to Nigeria to reside with him.
Then there was the moment that completely altered his view of the marriage.
He told God that this was the end one day when he was praying. He should go his way, and his wife should go hers.
Then, according to his own testimony, he was given an answer that completely altered his perspective:
"This marriage is an assignment, not a destination."
He stated that everything had changed as a result of that statement.
He began to view himself as someone with a responsibility within the marriage rather than approaching marriage mostly from the perspective of what he anticipated getting from his wife.
He needed to learn how to love.
He needed to learn how to manage his reactions.
He had to teach himself to respond to every show of wrath with calm.
He needed to quit expecting his wife to act precisely how he wished.
The marriage did not suddenly get better, he claimed. It wasn't a wonderful change.
However, he claims that the lady he formerly used to describe in such unpleasant terms eventually turned out to be one of the sweetest individuals one might ever encounter.
Because a lot of individuals only realize how uneasy marriage is after they've entered into it.
We frequently go into a marriage with a secret set of expectations.
We crave love in a specific manner. We would like to be addressed in a particular manner. We desire for our spouse to comprehend, respect, and cherish us, to apologize when they are incorrect, and to alter the aspects that annoy us.
When marriage gets difficult, our initial reaction is frequently to inquire:
"When will my wife alter?"
However, one of the most challenging questions marriage may make us consider is:
"What does this relationship teach me about myself?"
In my opinion, this is the most compelling aspect of Jerry Eze's testimony.
Not necessarily the assertion that God informed him his marriage was a mission, since individuals might interpret that in line with their own religious beliefs.
The more crucial lesson he eventually discovered was that he also had a purpose in the marriage.
He was not tasked with transforming his spouse.
He was supposed to work on himself.
Regardless of your religious beliefs, this is a lesson worth pondering.
However, there is a crucial caveat.
Simply because marriage is a duty does not imply that one must put up with anything their partner does.
Abuse is not allowed by patience. Forgiveness does not imply that everything is fine. Additionally, taking responsibility for your own flaws does not equate to taking responsibility for someone else's harmful behavior.
In a marriage, two people have a responsibility.
You have yours.
Your spouse has theirs.
You may improve yourself. You have the ability to adore more. It can improve your communication skills. You may learn to be patient. It's possible for you to say sorry. It is possible for you to change.
You can't do your partner's assignment for them, though.
Maybe that's where the actual wisdom is.
Locating someone who will make you smile is not the only thing that marriage is about. It's also about learning to make someone else feel cherished, esteemed, and protected.
And often, the individual you want to change the most isn't the only one who needs to.
You are also occasionally included in the assignment.