Writers 
Is this how I want to live?
Is this the life I was called to live in?
Bounded by people's opinion, fear gripping my stomach, just like butterfly in my tummy...
Overthinking everything, can't even say something as little as "NO". Why? Because "I don't want to make them feel bad".
How do I feel? What about myself? My feelings?
Wait, I never knew these were questions I could ask myself. Wow!.
"What about my feelings"...
Hmm... Let's see...
Well, "I'm fine", like always, I'd always be fine, smiling outward but dying inward, slowly....just like cancer, like a flower that falls it's face to the ground when you touch it. I'd be fine, I assure myself.
Sitting there alone, thinking about it and then deciding to play a song, because why not? I'm sure it's the "enemy" like always. Telling myself that anger is from the devil, depriving myself the ability to "feel" cos oh I forgot, I'm a HUMAN for crying out loud, not a ROBOT.
Plays her favorite song, cos she derives joy in dancing and vibing to good music per se....
She "dances" away her sorrows...and when she's done, reality slowly comes back creeping in on her with the thoughts.
Oh these thoughts! How would you betray me?! I thought you would go if I at least danced you out!!!
"This one my sister is not talking to me, I wonder what I did wrong?, Did I reply her rudely?, Was I too harsh?, Maybe I should say sorry?, No, what about ME? YOU?? At least "peace" would reign".
Goes to crack a funny joke while taking notes of the mood, she laughs. "Oh, thank you Lord, she wasn't angry".
Feels "happy", a slow burst of dopamine releases.....Well....At least I have "peace" now.....
