It Was Supposed To Be Just One Thing

I went out that afternoon to buy one thing. Just one thing. I even told myself that before leaving my room, “Don't buy anything else. You're only going there for this.”

I was very confident in myself. I had a specific amount of money in my account, a specific thing in mind and absolutely no intention of spending beyond it.

Ten minutes later, I was standing in front of a shop holding three different things. I looked at them, then at my phone and at the things again.

“Okay,” I said to myself. “I can afford this.”

That was my first mistake. Once you've convinced yourself that you can afford one unnecessary thing, every other unnecessary thing suddenly becomes affordable too.

I bought the first thing. Then I saw something else.

“I actually need this.” I didn't actually but it sounded reasonable in my head, so I bought it too.

Then, while the woman was putting everything in a nylon bag, I noticed something else on the shelf.

“Ah, how much is this one?” She told me.

I paused. “No, leave it.”

Two seconds later: “Actually, add it.”

At that point, I knew I was losing the battle.

But I still had one more problem and that is I had forgotten the actual thing I came to buy.

I stood there trying to remember. The woman was looking at me. I was looking at the shelves.

Then I remembered. “Oh!” I picked it up and paid.

I walked away feeling very accomplished. I had successfully gone out to buy one thing and returned with four.

As I walked back to my room, I decided not to calculate how much I had just spent.

That was a problem for Future Me. Future Me would deal with it 😂.

Unfortunately, Future Me arrived about fifteen minutes later. I got into my room, dropped the nylon bag on my bed and started bringing things out.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

I stared at them, then I laughed.

“What exactly happened here?” My roommate looked over. “What did you buy?”

I showed her. She looked at the things and then looked at me.

“Didn't you go to buy just one thing?”

“Yes ooo.”

“So why did you buy all these?”

“I don't know.”

She started laughing.

“You people are the reason you're always broke.”

I wanted to defend myself. I really did but I had no defence. So I sat there quietly.

Then she picked up one of the things and said, “You don't even need this.”

“I know.”

“And this one?”

“I thought I needed it.”

“You thought?”

“Yes.”

She shook her head.

I started laughing again.

The funny thing was, this wasn't the first time I had done something like that.

School had somehow turned me into someone who could stand in front of a shop for ten minutes debating whether I should spend a small amount of money on something I didn't need.

Then I would spend the money anyway. And immediately after paying, I would remember something important that I actually needed the money for. It was almost like my brain and my bank account were working for different governments.

My brain would say, “You deserve this.”

My account would say, “Do you?”

My brain would say, “It's not that expensive.”

My account would simply remain silent because it knew it was about to suffer.

I think student life does strange things to your relationship with money.

You start knowing exactly how much transport costs, which food is filling and which one only looks filling.

You know which shops are cheaper and when you can afford to buy something and when you need to pretend you didn't see it.

And sometimes, despite knowing all of this, you still make terrible financial decisions, like going out to buy one thing and returning with four.

That evening, I opened my banking app and looked at the balance.

I closed it, opened it again, closed it and whispered, “It's okay. We move.”

My roommate looked at me.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing.”

She laughed.

“You've checked your balance, haven't you?”

I didn't answer.

She already knew.

And that was the end of the conversation.

Until the next morning, when I looked at the thing I had originally gone out to buy sitting quietly on my table, and the three things I absolutely did not need.

I stared at all four.

Then I laughed.

Apparently, I had gone shopping with a plan.

My plan just didn't survive meeting me.