Writers 
Bad mum
Not the words,
But the way the words
Only learned my name
When they needed something to throw.
A mother who always complains about grades,
One who always compares.
She says she's the best mum β
Not to me tho.
Not to me,
who flinches at report cards
like they're verdicts.
Not to me,
who learned to be second best
in my own house.
She wears the title like a crown.
I carry it like a bruise.
How can I make her my best friend
When she judges me by my little mistake
You can't be friends with someone
when you're too busy trying not to disappoint them.
A best friend doesn't keep score.
She doesn't bring up yesterday's mistake
to win today's argument.
She doesn't love the grades more than the kid
who stayed up trying to get them.
I want to tell her everything,
but I edit myself first.
I want to be close,
but closeness feels like a test I will fail.
Maybe she thinks pressure is love.
Maybe she thinks comparing will push me forward.
Maybe no one ever told her
that a child who feels judged
doesn't try harder β
she just hides better.
So how do I make her my best friend?
Maybe I don't.
Maybe I stop begging for friendship
and start asking for peace.
Mom, I am not my mistakes.
I am not my grades.
I am not the other kids you compare me to.
I am still here.
Trying.
If you want to be my best friend,
start by being safe to talk to.
