Writers 
I Am Still Becoming”
I used to think
I had to have everything figured out.
The right answer.
The right direction.
The right people.
The right timing.
I thought adulthood came with a manual...
Nobody told me
there would be days
when I would question everything.
Days when I would look at other people's lives
and wonder,
"What am I doing with mine?"
Someone is moving ahead.
Someone is getting married.
Someone is building a business.
Someone is travelling.
Someone seems to have discovered their purpose.
And here I am...
Still learning.
Still trying.
Still becoming.
But maybe...
that's not a problem.
Maybe I don't need to have the whole map.
Maybe I just need enough courage
to take the next step.
Because a seed doesn't look like a tree
when it is planted.
And nobody looks at a seed and says,
"You're not growing fast enough."
It simply stays in the soil.
Taking root.
Preparing.
Becoming.
So perhaps
this season isn't punishment.
Perhaps it's preparation.
Perhaps the unanswered questions
are teaching me patience.
Perhaps the closed doors
are teaching me discernment.
Perhaps the delays
are teaching me endurance.
And perhaps...
I have been so busy asking,
"Why am I not there yet?"
that I forgot to appreciate
who I am becoming here.
So no...
I don't have everything figured out.
I don't know every turn
this road will take.
I don't know exactly where
I'll be five years from now.
But I know this:
I am learning.
I am growing.
I am becoming wiser.
And every day
I am becoming someone
I have never been before.
So I will stop comparing
my chapter three
with somebody else's chapter twenty.
I will stop calling myself behind
simply because my journey looks different.
I will keep walking.
Even slowly.
Even imperfectly.
Even when I'm afraid.
Because perhaps the goal
was never to have it all figured out.
Perhaps the goal...
was simply to keep becoming.
And one day,
I'll look back at the person
who was so afraid of not knowing
and whisper,
"You see?"
"You were never lost."
"You were becoming."