Writers 
CREATE HOBBIES, ACTIVITIES AND INTERESTS
Create hobbies, activities and interests that are just for you, not to impress anyone or to fit in a group. Maybe cooking and eating your favourite foods, replaying conversations in your mind, taking a solo walk, imagining different versions of yourself, reading books or studying skills, aligning your dreams, vision and purpose, making plans for your life, journaling, daydreaming and visualising yourself, working on your personal development and more. These activities not only provide time alone, but also help build a good relationship with yourself, one that can make you a more successful and better person.
Most people don’t even know themselves; they assume they do until certain questions are asked, and they don’t really know what they want in life. Why? Because they are constantly on the move, always waiting and anticipating the next company of others. If you want to find out what I'm saying, don’t ask anybody, ask yourself, what is my real purpose in life? Have I found it? Am I working towards it? What has been my long-term dream? Do I still remember it? What is my gift? How do I develop my tenant? Am I surviving or fulfilling? Do I have a good financial life and a good financial plan? Which kind of relationship do I want, or will I just cross my arms and go for any good-looking person? What are my standards, or don’t I have any? What are my good and bad habits? Is my attitude and character good or bad? With this type of financial habit, will I ever be successful? These are deep questions that you can only ask and answer in solitude, which is one of the benefits of alone time. Imagine being in other people's company and conversing, this might not come to your mind, because they are reflective and self-reflective questions.
Solitude is a sense of freedom that we need to embrace. The point is not to be captivated by other people’s life. Look at most successful people around, they build and create big and better things in silence, not in noise.
When you find those hobbies, activities and interests that you love and truly resonate with you, create a timetable for each of them, set an alarm and follow through, and just like that, you are not scared of being alone. Easily, you stop depending on external validation or the company to feel good. You make it your duty to create your own happiness bit by bit through your choices and actions.
PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION
Most of the time, we treat ourselves harshly, far more than we would treat a friend. We judge and criticise our flaws more. Just imagine how your solitude will be if you treat yourself with the same love, care, kindness, and understanding that you give other people. Or do you think you should love others more than yourself? Well, let me say this: if you don’t love yourself enough, and you claim to love others, maybe you are faking it, and over time it will reflect.
Most times when we find ourselves alone, we berate ourselves, judging our mistakes. Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror, and all you could see are flaws and imperfections. Truly, you come out and say I love myself but deep down, you are lying. You find it easy to compliment others who you may be better than. Self-judgement dwells in solitude if not handled properly. The thought will always come, but the important thing is to practice self-compassion. If you give a speech and you make a mistake, don’t dwell on it, see it as your best speech at the moment, and be your own cheerleader. Understand that people will criticise you, then compliment, so praise yourself. If nobody is clapping, clap for yourself. My Mother will say, “If you greet someone and they do not respond, greet and answer yourself”. Don’t wait for the big breakthrough or success; celebrate your little successes. If you make mistakes, don’t avoid them or berate yourself; choose to flow with the dynamics of the mistake; correct, learn, adjust and move on. Don’t curse yourself, don’t hate yourself, and don’t feel embarrassed. You are human; mistakes are bound to happen, so just adjust. When you are able to do this, being alone is no longer scary.
Note, I am not saying that you should see yourself as superior or better than others. Not to be rude, arrogant or full of yourself, but rather to calmly trace your steps and adjust. If you are wrong, sincerely apologise, forgive and don’t berate yourself.
GRATITUDE
Most times, our minds are filled with things we are aiming at that we completely forget what we have. This step is simple: think about things to be grateful for, and keep a gratitude journal every day. At first, I thought this was easy until I started wondering what to write. Why? Because I am constantly thinking about what I need and want, I completely forget what I have. But over time, my perspective shifted, and I started seeing what I have, and I became more grateful. Being alone can be discouraging when you have a lot of needs, but one of the ways you can make it interesting is to find those beautiful things you are grateful for. The concept is simple: to make your mind wander in the positive lane and not the negative. You become optimistic and free-minded.
When you use your alone time to think about problems, you start avoiding your thoughts because you're terrified. Simple things to be grateful for include being alive, surviving, the food you eat, good health, your ability to sleep on your bed with a roof over your head, the good family you come from, the peaceful rain and many more. Find it, be grateful, you may be broke, everyone has needs, but don’t let that take away your positive mind, remain grateful in your solitude. Understand that if you can’t be happy when you are financially low, even when money comes, you might still be unhappy. There is always one problem to solve, so add gratitude to your daily life activities to stay positive and embrace solitude.
PRACTICING MINDFULNESS
Wherever you are, be there. When you are eating alone, instead of thinking about how the company will make it better or fun, just focus on the flavour and texture of the food. When you are walking alone, don’t just move, listen to your steps and look around, appreciate nature instead of thinking that you are alone. When you are alone, practice visualising, paint a bigger picture for yourself and be mindful about it, make every moment worth it.
PRACTICING SELF-CARE
Can you believe that most people don’t buy meat until they have a visitor, they don’t make their bed until someone is visiting, and they don’t even bathe regularly and properly, just because they are alone? But any moment they are expecting visitors, they start cleaning their room, removing cobwebs, cleaning beds, shelves, and floor and start making plans to cook a better meal. Do you now understand why some feel incomplete alone? When you don't plan to nourish your body and mind. Imagine someone whose room is dirty and filled with insects, and a lazy type, do you think that kind of person will want to stay home alone inside that dirty room? Of course, he will seek to visit and stay with others. But imagine when you have a clean apartment, a made bed, and you have prepared a special meal for yourself, won’t you be craving to be home when you are outside? Exactly, take good care of yourself, don’t neglect basic things because you stay alone, do everything properly with or without others’ presence.
Treating your body with care is an act of self-love. It's a way of honouring yourself, of showing yourself that you're worthy of care and attention, even when no one else is around to see it.
Another part of self-care is positive self-talk, most people when they are alone, berate themselves. When they make a mistake, they call themselves foolish, broke, silly, crazy and all those insults they can’t say to a close friend, but they say all that to themselves. Just change that, speak positively to yourself, when you make mistakes, correct and learn from them, and don’t call yourself a failure. Mistakes do not make you a failure; it’s proof that you are a human.
SELF-ACCEPTANCE
Another reason for avoiding solitude is a lack of self-acceptance. We're afraid to be alone with ourselves because we're not fully comfortable with who we are. Practice accepting yourself as you are right now. Accepting that this is who I am. Yes, I can change and improve, but for now, I am proud of my life.
