Writers 
“Know your worth.”
“Don’t settle.”
“Find a man who can provide.”
“Don’t marry beneath your standard.”
And honestly, women should have standards.
But there is a conversation we rarely have.
What standards should a man have for himself before he starts demanding a wife?
Because some men have an impressive list of qualities they want in a woman.
She must be submissive.
She must cook.
She must be loyal.
She must respect him.
She must support his dreams.
She must be beautiful.
She must be hardworking.
She must be God-fearing.
She must know how to take care of the home.
She must not be “too independent.”
The list goes on.
But ask him what kind of man he is becoming…
Suddenly, the interview is over. 😂
You want a submissive woman.
Are you a man who can be trusted?
You want respect.
Do you know how to give respect?
You want loyalty.
Are you loyal yourself?
You want a woman who supports your dreams.
What are you doing to support hers?
You want a woman who knows how to manage a home.
Do you know how to manage yourself?
You want a woman who is emotionally mature.
Can you communicate without insulting her when you are angry?
You want a woman who is God-fearing.
What kind of character do you display when nobody is watching?
You want a woman who won’t be a financial burden.
Are you financially responsible yourself?
And before someone says, “A man is the prize because he provides,” let’s be honest.
Providing is important.
Responsibility is important.
Being able to take care of your family is important.
But money doesn’t automatically give someone good character.
A man can pay every bill in the house and still be emotionally abusive.
A man can provide food and shelter and still be unfaithful.
A man can have money and still have no self-control.
So yes, women should have standards.
But men should also have standards for themselves.
Before demanding a perfect wife, become a man who can actually build a healthy marriage.
Before demanding submission, become someone worth trusting.
Before demanding respect, become respectable.
Before demanding loyalty, become loyal.
Before demanding peace, learn how to create peace.
Before demanding a woman who will support you through difficult seasons, ask yourself whether you are capable of supporting her when her own season becomes difficult.
Marriage isn’t just about finding someone who meets your checklist.
It is also about becoming someone worthy of the checklist you’re presenting.
Because the truth is…
A woman shouldn’t only ask, “What kind of man do I want?”
She should also ask, “What kind of woman am I becoming?”
And a man shouldn’t only ask, “What kind of wife do I want?”
He should also ask:
“What kind of husband am I prepared to be?”
Standards are not a gender-exclusive privilege.
If you want a high-quality partner, bring quality to the table too.
Because sometimes the problem isn’t that you’re attracting the wrong people.
Sometimes you’re demanding from others what you haven’t developed in yourself.
Know your standards.
Absolutely.
But before you point at someone else and say, “You don’t meet my standards…”
Make sure you meet your own.