Writers 
Losing your mom will wreck you.
It breaks you and changes you in ways you never could have imagined.
You’ll find yourself keeping her a secret because talking about her hurts everyone else, even though not talking about her hurts you. You’ll want to say her name, have someone ask about her, and talk about her, but it will feel like you’re alone.
It’s as if you’ll lose yourself while standing right there. You’ll look through old pictures, trying to remember where that girl went—the person you were when she was still here—and wonder if you’ll ever get her back.
Losing your mom will make you become a different wife, husband, brother, sister, daughter, mother, and best friend.
You’ll go from being the person who didn’t question much in life to the one who questions everything: Where is my mom? Where did she go? Why did it have to be my mom? Why did she have to go? Why didn’t we get to say goodbye? Why can’t she come for a visit? You won’t want it to have been anyone else’s mom, but you’ll wonder why yours had to die that way.
It will change the way you visit the doctor. Sitting in the lobby will be hard. You’ll think of her at every visit and wonder if this one will be a bad one, like it was for her. Paperwork will make you cry when it asks for emergency contacts or whether your mom is living.
It will make a corner of the bathroom floor become a place that houses memories—the place you held her head when she was sick, where you prayed without words while she sat beside you, praying you could keep her for one more night, and where you held her hand for the last time.
It will make you realize that sometimes friendships can’t withstand everything, and losing your mom might be one of those things. You’ll learn to give people grace in grief, because that’s what a good friend does.
Losing your mom will teach you that feeling alone is only temporary. Others, just like you, will come forward and say, “I’ve been there,” and “I’m here for you now.”
You’ll see the ugly side of life—the hurt and grief—and you won’t be able to unsee it. But you’ll also find the helpers: people who love without conditions, people who have experienced the same grief and are still finding beauty in this life.
It will cause you to search for her everywhere—in the clouds, old pictures, social media posts, memories of her friends, and crowds wherever you go. Even though you know she’s gone, your heart will still search for her.
Losing your mom will wreck you in the most heartbreaking ways, but in that mess of grief, you’ll discover who you were made to be.
With the wrecking of your old self comes the unfolding of you—the person your mom always knew you would become, even if she wasn’t there to see it.
