DIVORCE

Although divorce is a lawful act, it is the most detested and worst of all deeds.

An early Imam states: Allah likes a house which is inhabited in the wake of marriage and dislikes the house which is abandoned in the wake of divorce.

Marriage is not like buying a pair of shoes that whenever not liked one disposes them and buys another. Marriage is a spiritual covenant that two people make in order to stay together like friends, sympathizers and lovers till their death. It is based on these great hopes that a young girl leaves her parents and joins her husband.

Marriage is not a lustful affair and a couple cannot destroy it for trivial excuse. Although divorce is lawful it is seriously detested and people are recommended to avoid it as much as possible.

Unfortunately, this very detestable act has become so common among the Muslims and the foundations of family units have become so shaky that there is generally little faith in marriage any more.

Divorce is permitted but only in very exceptional and compelling circumstances.

The Prophet (SAW) of Allah stated: “Jibril (Gabriel) advised the women so much that I thought one should not divorce them except if they commit adultery.”

Most cases of divorce are not based upon good reasons, but are on immature excuses. That is, the reason for most cases of divorce are trivial and are not worth effecting the separation of a couple. The husband or wife may exaggerate a trivial problem and decide that their married life must be ended.

A man divorced his wife on the ground that she was only giving birth to girls. The couple had five daughters.

A man applied for a divorce because he wanted to get married to a wealthy woman.

A man has divorced his wife because he claims that she is a bad omen. Since their marriage, his father had died and his uncle had become bankrupt (e.t.c).

A couple, who is not wise and prudent, might fall into the traps of such petty matters and apply for a divorce.

A couple, who seeks separation must not rush for it. They are recommended to consider carefully about the after effects and their future in detail and then decide. They must specifically ponder over two points.

First Point: A couple, who seeks divorce, generally would like to re-marry. But they should remember that after the divorce, the persons known as divorcees would not have a good record with regard to marriage. People think of them as selfish and unfaithful.

Upon finding out a man’s previous marriage and divorce, a woman might doubt his faithfulness or his character.

A divorced woman rarely gets a chance to re-marry, because men generally do not show much interest in marrying a divorced woman and doubt about her faithfulness.

Therefore, a divorcee would possibly have to stay alone for the rest of his or her life and may have to suffer from loneliness too. Being lonely is a very difficult situation, and some lonely people prefer death rather than such an unbearable life. Even if a man is successful in re-marrying, it is not at all obvious that his new life would be any better than his first wife. He may even be worse. Such men usually prefer to divorce their second wife and re-marry the initial one but usually it is too late for such a move.

Second Point: A couple which seeks separation must also think of their children. Children’s comfort lies in a family where both the parents live together and take care of them jointly.

Upon the breaking down of the family life children become extremely upset. If only father looks after them, they would be deprived of motherly love they would not enjoy life with step-mother either. Step-mother not only are unable to act as their genuine mothers but may regard their step children as a burden. Some step-mothers maltreat their step-children and make them upset deliberately and their father may have to remain silent.

Also, if the mother assumes the responsibility of her children, then they would be deprived of having a real father who would care for them. Step father is often the cause of much unhappiness to his step-children.

Divorce destroys a family unit and leaves the children wandering and shelterless.

Children who are deprived of having a suitable guardian and a family atmosphere often go astray. The lack of proper education and a sympathetic person in their lives makes them suffer from complexes of inferiority. They may even commit crimes of various degrees, during their childhood or adulthood.

Dear Brother/Sister for the sake of Allah and for the sake of your innocent children, be forgiving towards each other, do not exaggerate trivial problems and do not persist in your future as well as that of your children. Remember your children rely on you and look up to you for their happiness. Have mercy upon them and do not destroy their lives.

If you ignore their internal desires and if you break their little hearts you would not be able to escape the effects of their unhappiness. You would therefore be unable to have a comfortable life together.