Writers 
I have discovered that I am a very convincing liar.
Not to other people but to myself.
Something happens and I immediately say, “It's fine.” It is usually not fine.
Someone takes too long to reply? “It's fine”, when I have already checked my phone like four times.
Someone says something that annoys me? “It's fine”, when I have replayed the conversation in my head at least seven times.
It is, in fact, not fine.
The funniest part is that I can sometimes convince everybody else too. I will be sitting there looking completely normal while my brain is running a full investigation.
Someone will ask, “Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“You're sure?”
“Of course.”
Meanwhile, internally: Why did they say it like that?
Did I sound stupid?
Was that response weird?
Should I have said something else?
Maybe I'm over thinking. I'm definitely overthinking. But what if I'm not?
Then I'll get annoyed with myself for thinking about it.
“Why do I even care?”
That usually works for about five minutes. Then I care again.
I've also noticed that I have a strange relationship with making decisions. I can spend twenty minutes deciding what I want. When I finally make the decision I immediately think, hmmmmm, maybe the other option was better.
I once made a decision, felt completely confident about it and then spent the rest of the day mentally reopening the case.
No new evidence.
No new information.
Just me arguing with myself.
And yet, somehow, I still consider myself a decisive person.
I think one of the funniest things about growing up is realizing that you don't always know yourself as well as you thought you did.
You discover little contradictions. I like being alone, but sometimes I hate feeling lonely.
I want people to be honest with me, but sometimes I need five business days to process the honesty.
I say I don't care what people think, and then remember something embarrassing from three years ago while trying to sleep.
I like making plans, but I also enjoy randomly changing them.
I can be extremely patient with other people and unbelievably impatient with myself.
And perhaps the strangest one is that I can give someone else very good advice while completely ignoring the same advice when it applies to me.
I'll tell somebody, “Don't overthink it.”
Then I'll go home and overthink something I said six hours ago.
I'll tell someone, “Just ask.” Then spend three days wondering whether I should ask the question I need an answer to.
I'll tell someone, “Let it go.”
Then remember the situation while brushing my teeth.
Honestly, I don't know when I became this person.
I probably am still becoming her. I guess that's the whole point.
We are all walking around thinking we're supposed to have ourselves completely figured out, but that shouldn't be the case.
Personally, I am still discovering things about myself as they happen. Some days I understand myself perfectly. Other days, I surprise myself doing things I never thought I would.
And on the days when I don't understand myself at all, I usually just shrug and say, “It's fine.”
And yes, you already know that it is probably not fine.