Writers 
It's starting again
The fear, the anxiety, the pain
The longing without passion
The emptiness
The desire without a spark, without a fire
The endless worry and the silly doubts
The confusion
The uncertainty of what I feel
The ache in my heart that tells me something is wrong
The excuses I give myself to bury the ache
It's starting all over again and I'm getting weaker
Not as strong as before
I'm scared, afraid
I don't think i can do it all over again
The weight is heavier, my body, heart and soul can't take it
That sound, the sound of my own heart beating the warning tune
Should I ignore it again?
Would i be scarred again if I do?
The loneliness even when surrounded by my thoughts
It's back again
The dreams, the filtered reality i don't want to believe
The sudden coldness but still alone covered in sweats
The mood swings that sways like a pendulum, endlessly pulled in two opposite ends
I hate when I feel like this
I don't want to feel like this
I want to scream but can't find my voice
I'm held by that one person but the touch bites into my skin
I don't know what to do or feel
All i know is...
I hope it ends fully this time
So i can be free again
