Writers 
After the whole incident, I was just there, standing in the wreckage of my own secrecy. That second thing Tanko gave me blew my cover, I thought, the memory of his blank, unseeing eyes still fresh and cold in my mind. I decided then that I'd just stick with the happy pills I had left. When I ran out, I'd find a way to get more, somehow. Maybe from the guys I saw with Tanko. They were dangerous, but they were my only link.
After that, I just continued life normally. Mum believed me when I told her I had only taken it once. She didn't even probe any further. That was good for me. It meant I could keep taking the happy pills, and I could stay in control. I felt like I was walking a tightrope, but at least I wasn't falling.
At this time, I was in JSS 2. Sometimes, when she was around, I'd lie to her, telling her I needed to go to a friend's house for an assignment. But I didn't go to a friend's house. I went to that same crumbling building Tanko had taken me to. It was a place that smelled of damp concrete and old secrets. I had to beg them so much before they agreed to give me the happy pills. Considering what happened to Tanko, nobody wanted to be involved with me. They looked at me like I was a bad omen. They only agreed because I gave them double of what I used to give Tanko. My savings were bleeding, but I didn't care.
Then, one day, Mum called me to her room. Her face was blank, a mask I couldn't read. I was puzzled. My heart began to pound against my ribs. Could she have found out about the happy pills? "Come sit," she said, her voice flat and tired. "I want to tell you something." I watched her, eager and terrified to hear what it was.
It couldn't be that she was travelling. She didn't abandon me like that anymore.
"Rose is leaving," she said.
That was one piece of news I didn't expect. Rose was the closest thing I had to a constant, aside from my mother.
"Why?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly.
"She says she wants to further her education," Mum explained, rubbing her temples. "And since you're about to round up your class, I pleaded with her to stay till the end of your session. After that, you will be moving to a boarding school."
My heart sank to my stomach, a cold, heavy stone. Boarding school? Where would the happy pills come from? How would I get them? The thought was suffocating.
"But Mum, I can manage on my own. I'm almost 12," I protested, my voice a thin, desperate whine.
Mum chuckled, a sound devoid of warmth. "That's impossible, Simon. You can't. You are still a child."
I just responded with a quiet, defeated, "Okay."
That night, I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned, my mind a frantic hamster wheel of worry. I kept thinking of how I would cope without the happy pills. The thought of going without them felt like standing on the edge of a cliff in a storm. I thought of buying a huge stockpile, enough to last me through the entire term, maybe even the year. I imagined hiding it in my trunk, in my pillowcase, anywhere. But what if it ran out? What if the dealer wasn't there? I couldn't help thinking about it, the anxiety gnawing at me until dawn.
The session ended so fast. Rose left almost immediately, and I was left alone with Mum. She didn't even stay for more than two weeks after Rose left. She travelled for work, leaving me all by myself. It was strange and a little hard, the silence of the house a heavy presence. Mum promised she wouldn't stay long. I didn't know how to cook, but she had stocked the fridge with plenty of food that could be microwaved. I kept doing that, heating up tasteless meals in the dead quiet of the house. I was happy that I was all alone. I could have all the space to myself, but I missed Rose. I missed Tanko, too, even though he was the source of all this trouble. But at least I still had the happy pills.
Mum kept to her promise this time. She came back quite early, maybe because she knew there was no one to stay with me. At least she thought about me.
After the holiday, Mum packed my things. She bought a lot of goodies and new stuff. I was moving to a new environment entirely. A lot of thoughts were going through my head, especially about my happy pills. I emptied my entire savings and bought as many as I could with everything. It felt like I was investing in my own survival.
I hid them properly in my provision bag, tucking them deep inside a container of Milo, wrapped in a black polythene bag. It fit so well, you couldn't tell anything was there.
Mum drove. On our way, she told me about my guardian in school, Mr. Alex. She said she would give him my pocket money and I should go to him whenever I needed anything. I just nodded, my mind elsewhere.
When we got to the school, it was in the outskirts of Kaduna. It was a very big school, much bigger than my former one. The buildings were painted a bright, almost aggressive yellow, and the compound was sprawling. Then I saw the name printed boldly on the massive gate:
Excellent Spirit Academy.
